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No Man is an Island

What beautiful words- so deep and so true! This beautiful phrase is not just true for the human race but for most of God's creation.


Trees are clumped together; foxes live and hunt in packs, lions live together and nurture their young as do birds and countless other species from the small and timid to the mighty and strong.


Humans are no different. When we are born, we are born into families with a past history; we are the symbol for the future. We are born into wrinkled hands and expressive lined foreheads look at us with tears of joy and aspirations; the tears in their eyes are tears of happiness and a hope for the future- a hope that the family name will live on with us.

We are born to these grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends and yes the two people who form the nucleus of our world- our parents.


The right that our parents have over us has often been documented. Allah (swt) gave the right of childbirth to women and the responsibility of nurturing to the father- not exclusively to him but yes, the responsibility lies first and foremost with him. The rights of the parents are also well documented, especially on this website. We know that paradise is to be found under the feet of the mother- we also know that after the mother, it is the father who deserves the most respect.


But what of the other relationships with which we are bound. We have a responsibility towards these people also. These responsibilities and relationships are sacred for the reason alone that they are given to us by the Almighty.


The importance of maintaining relationships can be seen in the following hadith complied by Imam Bukhari:


Abu Ayyub al-Ansari said: "A bedouin came to the Prophet (saw) while he was traveling. He asked "Tell me what will bring me nearer to the garden and away from the fire."

He replied "Worship Allah and do not associate anything with him and perform the prayer, and pay the Zakah and maintain ties of kinship"


Additionally it is clearly written that;


'Mercy is not conferred on people when there is someone among them who severs ties of kinship'.


So the importance of maintaining these relationships, these bonds can be seen clearly here as they are a means of achieving the ultimate goal- paradise.


Our great religion teaches that we should not be loyal to just our parents and siblings but to all our relatives;


Al- Miqdam said


"The Messenger (saw) of Allah (swt) said 'Allah enjoins you to be dutiful to your mothers. Then he enjoins you to be dutiful to your fathers. Then he enjoins you to be dutiful to your next nearest relative and then to your next nearest relative.


However, sometimes these relations can become the source of trials and tribulations. In this world, there are problems, arguments and fights which can become the source of restraint and sometimes anger, words later regretted are often unleashed.

In this scenario, great blessings are given to those who join the threads of communication and maintain the relationship.


Abdullah b. Amr said


'The Prophet (saw)t said 'the one who maintains the ties of kinship is the one who, even when his relatives cut him off, still maintains ties of kinship'


So this very bond that is created by God to provide us with comfort and security has to be maintained by us for us to gain great blessings. These ties are sometimes hard to maintain but not impossible, infact it is frowned upon if the true Muslim does not speak to his brother for more than three days. Again Allah (swt) gave his people some form of release~~~~ by allowing three days in which tempers are cooled and the opportunity can arise for forgiveness and reconciliation


'Abu Ayyub said


 'The Messenger (saw) of Allah (swt said) 'It is not lawful for anyone to cut himself off from his brother Muslim for more than three nights in such a way that when they meet, each turns his face away avoiding the other. The better of them is the one who initiates the greeting'.


Humans are fallible- we are created to fall but at each step we have Allah's (swt) guidance. We have the capacity to love and to hate at extremes but extremism is forbidden in our religion as extremism robs us of our strength to reason and understand clearly. In Islam, we are taught to conduct ourselves in a dignified manner and in a manner which is perfumed with logic, compassion and love but does not border on obsession and craze.


Our relationships are sacred no matter how difficult they seem to be. They have to be nurtured and can prove to be the most beautiful part of pur lives. Even if this is not the case, any patience and tolerance shown will be rewarded by Allah (swt)- that is His promise and for that even if we have to swallow our pride to shake the hand of a loved one, it is still a small price to pay!


Mrs Alia Aurangzeb